Who?

Hey.
I've truly neglected this blog and should be extremly ashamed and hanging my head in shame but it doesn't mean I've totally stopped writing my warbling on the net, I just do it more frequently on myspace and can't be bothered to cross post. So to check out the many blogs I do over on the space click http://www.myspace.com/fidgefadge

Life just got intresting this year. I'm still completly neglected by the male race, but it's not quite so dark and depressing. I've had a few boy run ins and even the odd checking out, so hooray, I'm not a complete monster. I've been on two holidays this year as well. Thailand with the family and crete with the mates. Both completly different but both equally intresting and a major learning curve for myself. I feel myself really growing up this year and it's odd to think a year from now, [hoping I don't fail miserebly at college], I could be packing up for uni. The thought is all too scary.

Apart from working up a major tan and spending my entire earnings on clothes, I've been watching every episode of sex and the city. I forgot how good that show was. Carrie Bradshaw is my new hero, the clothes, the shoes, the lifestyle. It's all too cool, and here sitting writing this on my laptop I can't help but feel a bit like Bradshaw herself, minus all the man drama.

For once I'm happy and content. I may not ever understand men and it's going to be a long while before I can afford Chanel or to visit Tokyo but life doesn't completly suck and I'm happy with that.

"If I buy those jeans I can look like Kate Moss..."

Does anybody else think the nations weight obsession is spiraling out of control? In fact the whole of the wealthy western world is intent on starving themselves while those in poverty don't have a choice. Isn't that ridiculous?
You can't pass a celebrity gossip magazine without being told how you can loose weight in Weeks! Days! Hours! Seconds! If you follow a simple diet, simple meaning it only consists of wheatgrass.
What happened to being proud of curves? A woman is curvy, why are we all intent on looking like weedy little boys? Real woman have boobs, hips, and a shapely bum. That's a woman. I respect some people are naturally thin. Keira Knightley for instance. Naturally thin, beautiful body. Some people are lucky that way. Some of us aren't built that way, we shouldn't be ashamed. We are only human. Marilyn Monroe was a size 14/16. She was a complete sex symbol and she was curvy. Then in the 60's that all changed and Twiggy brought thin models into fashion and you know the sad thing, it hasn't changed since. Weight should not be a fashion statement. Its your health your toying with. As long as you eat healthy, you shouldn't be worrying about your weight at all unless your obsese and endangering your health.
As people panic about obsesity become dangerously common in Britain, they should notice anorexia and bulimia aren't far behind. The good thing is that this is being noticed with magazines like 'Bliss' and 'Sugar' taking note of this dangerous trend and encouraging a healthy diet and highlighting the dangers of eating disorders to it's teenage girl readers.
On the other scale however, some fashion designers make their clothes size 4 for their models. Who is that size? It's not fair for models to have to slim to skeletal proportions to fit in this ridiculous size. No woman should be a size 4 by choice. It's completely wrong to expect this of people and shows how shallow the fashion world has become. It's disappointing and unhealthy. Anorexia and Bulimia are not fashion statements, they're a disease.
Teenage girls shouldn't be bombarded with images of celebrities who are stick thin. This is what we are almost being told we should look like. Thin is beauty? Being a teenage girl myself, I know how easily influenced some of us can be. Sometimes I feel I should be thin to be accepted. I find myself feeling inadequate next to my thinner friends. My best friend is naturally thin, I am naturally curvy. I envy how she can pull of styles I wish I could. It makes me feel bad when she can fit into smaller sizes than me. But the difference between us is barely existent. We are both size 10s. She may fit into smaller sizes, I may fit into larger. She has a non existent belly, yet she thinks she's fat. I feel huge next to her. The woman's world shouldn't be a competition of weight. We should be celebrating the woman's body. We are each beautiful and should be allowed to realize this without feeling constantly inadequate.
Now if only the celebrity world would realize and eat a sandwich.

Summer loving had me a blast..

Hardly.
A whole year I've been single now. A YEAR! And he was a loser. Yes, i know I'm only 16 and I have plently of time to find Mr Right but I'm the impatient type. I don't want to appear desperate either, because I don't want just anyone. I want the one. Does that even exist?
In this year, I've fallen hard and fast for two guys that were destined to break my pathetic little heart. I swear they take some sick pleasure in this. Cupid is a mean kid with a pointy arrow.
But you know, I'm gonna try and not obsess over this. Nobody to love, nobody to hurt me. Just a shame I can't get over the boy mate.
You know what, its waay better to fall in love with hair clips. Especially when they're super cool, large pink glitter lightning bolts. Because they make you happy, make you look good, and won't break your heart. The perfect partnership. Just have to wait for them to arrive.
Oh well, I get paid on monday and I feel a huge dose of retail therapy will do me the world of good. That and drinking as much as I can at my friends 16th on Friday.
Now one last thing, will this heat just please, PISS OFF.

Lips and Hips

Your one small step away,
Maybe just an inch,
But you seem so much closer in my dreams,
Where you hold me and we sleep.
Its frustrating how you don't see,
How perfect we could be,
If i were to kiss your lips,
and a hand slipped down to my hips.
You could take me away from it all,
And show a small girl, she could rise up tall,
Bring a smile to my quivering lips,
and put me back together from the bits.
If you wiped my eyes,
Every time I cried,
Life wouldn't seem so empty,
And I'd praise the day you met me.
Maybe one day you'll understand,
How you could cure the bad,
Until them I am lonley,
Until the day, you fall for me.

A little less sixteen candels a little more touch me...

Today I turn 16. The big one-six. I think its alot more important and milestoney if your american. In Britain it's not that great. You can just smoke, have sex and play the lottery legally. All three i do none of. Although It might help me get a job more easier now. Either way, Im at home on my own. Alone on my birthday. Well for another hour then my mums back. Its been relaxing. I've beem christning my brand spanking new laptop. My first laptop. My birthday present, and taking my ever dissapointing love life into consideration, I think I may have to marry it.
Tonight Im having a sleepover and having 3 mates over. 2 boys and 2 girls, quite a nice ratio. I think it's going to be an intresting night, we have Rocky Horror, Penis straws, Party bags and pass the parcel. And he is going to be there.

If my birthday wasn't excitment enough, my prom was last night. Another important american occasion thats not as hyped up in the old united kingdom. It was really great. I went in a limo with my friends as we listened to a mix cd i made, then as we arrived at school, we got to walk the red carpet to our school as loads of people watched us. It was amazing, i felt like a superstar, and i did pose on the red carpet and I don't give a crap if i looked like a total poser. The decorations were fab and everyone danced and got on with each other. Well maybe not me and a certain person, lets call her 'Bitch', but the atmospehre was amazing. Even the teachers were going for it, teacher dance off anyone?
I wish I could do it all over again, and as for the current 'obsession', the one..him. I got to be close to him, latch onto his arm. Got an amazing picture with him (and the bessie), and even got to slow dance with him at the end of it all. But you know whats heart wrenchingly awful about it all? He doesn't feel a thing for me. I know he doesn't. I told him how i felt last week and nothing. He still like the other girl. So I have to deal with the mixed emotions, jealously and downright insanity of being a single teen.
But whatever..I looked amazing for once in my life.
Stace
xxx

Just my luck

How i loathe science. Since its is so incredibly boring and I'm not quite up for revising which i really should be doing,thought i'd log onto the blog. Look at me getting all regular blog like. Be proud.
Todays been quite surreal. Since its my last week the teachers have gone all laid back for their last lessons. So first lesson, French, I was greeted with lots of french bread products. Crossiants, chocolate crossiants and something else which was quite tasty. The french got it right when it came to food. Yum.
Speaking of the french, I may actully get to meet my french space pal. How cool? The french accent is the sexiest. Everyone knows that. Anyway...to a pact. We have both decided that if, still faced with singledoma at eighteen. We'll get together, but i can predict that one. She may be excellent at english, but my french is appaling. I think my poor grammar would soon piss her off.
Anyways...science is coming to an end and Sam and Sarah are looking nosily at my blog. So since they won't piss off. I'll leave it at this.
Au revoir.
Stace
xxx

"Don't you know that your toxic?"

Ok, so im an awful blogger. But to be truthful, I don't have a whole lot to write about, my life isn't too intresting. Im an awful diary keeper aswell. But more to the point, I just had to rant about a load of stuff on my mind that didn't fit onto one A5 diary page.
Well It happened again. I fell for a guy, and I just know my hearts gonna get its ass kicked again. Earlier this year, I really liked a guy and he made me think he liked me too, but no, friend terroitry AGAIN! Which was ironic because we went to watch "Just Friends" together. So just as I get my sad self over that total blow, which was alot more tragic than I've explained, I think I've fallen for my guy friend. Which isn't good in the slightest since Im pretty sure he only sees me as a friend. So Im trapped in this awkawd position of confusion and total mind of crapiness.
It's put me in an awful bad mood and I can't concenrate. Love really sucks.
I keep hinting that I like him but I don't think he has a clue, and I know boys are stupid and you have to spell these things out to them but come on, could I be more obvious?
Ok, this was an awful blog..and I am an awful writer.
Im off.
Stace
xx